The Dolphin Encounter

Lets bring you up to date, 

We have made it to Auckland, staying with a friend I previously volunteered with in Africa, Lucy. So far we haven't really done much in Auckland but it is, as always, lovely to finally have a house rather than a dorm room. 

Let me take you back to Kaikoura, this is where we did our dolphin encounter. Basically you pay a lot of money to swim with wild dolphins. The company make a big point of the fact that they are wild dolphins so it is better but, as they are wild, they can't guarantee that the dolphins will hang around with you. This trip had been recommended by a few friends we met along the way so we were pretty confident. 

We set off that morning, checked in, donned our sexy wet suits and off we went. The sea was "moderate" which means high chance of sea sickness much to the joy of Kinga. We started off leaping up and over the Pacific's attempts to spoil our day and found our first pod of dolphins. We were told to get ready, put our goggles/flippers on and move to the back of the boat then...go go go...we were in the water. The coldness of the ocean instantly took my breath away as the dolphins continued to swim past us. I looked down and could see nothing, about 10 metres into the endless abyss below me. We were surrounded by green plankton and knowing it is a rich and favourite food stuff of a lot of whales I pictured an enormous beast rising from below, mouth wide open, swallowing me whole. A lung full of sea water made it's way down my snorkel quickly snapping me out of my imagined demise as I looked around. Seeing lots of people in the same situation I calmed myself by working out the odds of me being the first eaten. I decided ginger is an acquired taste where as everyone likes Chinese takeaway, so I was safe and focused on swimming around. 

As the dolphins had all gone we were quickly called back to the boat to go search for a new pod. While I was freaking out in the water Kinga was having a whale of a time (sorry, bad joke). It wasn't long before we found some more dolphin and were once again released en masse back into the cold ocean. This time was better, the wetsuit had warmed up and I had got my head around the fact I was risking my life to see some big grey marine mammals that would probably eat me if they had thumbs. Once again it was the same story with the dolphins just swimming by and not playing as promised. By our fourth dip word had reached the skipper that there were a family of killer whales in the area so basically the dolphins were running away hence not hanging around to play with us. Frankly I can't blame them and I didn't like the idea of being in the water dressed as a poor functioning water mammal that would probably make a tasty amuse bocuhe for an orca. With this news we gave up on the dolphins and started to head back. In my various jumps into the water I did get to see 15 or so wild dolphins swimming by me very close which was pretty awesome. 

Pics from the encounter

As we were heading back we managed to track down the orcas so got to spend an hour or so drinking hot chocolate, munching on ginger nuts and watching a family of orcas swim around, Daddy, Mummy and little one. We were so lucky to be able to find them. Upon our return to the port we were told that the company didn't count our day as an encounter so we would be refunded part of our money back to a watchers fee, true to their word. We did get in the water a few times so had they not I would have been disappointed but not surprised.  

I guess in summary we got pretty damn lucky. We were in the water 4 times with wild dolphins, spotted wild orcas and got half our money back, if I was offered that at the beginning of the day I'd say hell yeah. 

Top of One Tree Hill

Since then we have made it to Auckland, a pretty uneventful flight from Christchurch and here we are. We have hiked up a park known as one tree hill, strangely with lots of trees...and sheep. Wandered around Auckland, kind of a mini Sydney and yesterday went to an awesome beach with black sand that glitters in the sun. I can't remember the name of it but I know it as volcanic disco beach. We have a few more days relaxing here before we head of to Fiji for some hammock time before back to the UK...sad face. 

Downtown Auckland

Until next time, look after each other and do it to them before they do it to you.

Volcanic disco beach

New Zealand South

Soooooo, last time we were just waving goodbye to Steven and Dee and good bye to the land of Koalas and Kangaroos on our way to New Zealand. We took off in Sydney for a pretty unspectacular flight until you reach the central mountains of Middle Earth...ummm....I mean New Zealand. From up high coming into Christchurch they looked spectacular. Upon landing we were greeted by many sheep staring inquisitively at this strange herd of people following one another, being shepherded out of our flying machine and into the big barn at the end of their field. I don't know if you know this about New Zealand, but there are a lot of sheep.

Sheep...but you probably knew that.

Immigration was a bit quicker than Australia but no less stressful. We passed through passport control and got to a man at declarations. It seems New Zealand is pretty strict on the fruit and sandwich smuggling trade as a lot of lunch boxes were being swiftly disposed of before they could get busted. We managed to get a banana onto our flight but getting a bit fearful on the way out we decided to ingest it before customs. I know it can be a dangerous choice to make as if the skin splits inside of you you can die of a massive over dose but it was one we had to make. We reached a man who asked us three times very clearly if we had food to declare, he could probably see the panic on my face. Just the previous afternoon I was watching a show where a poor German guy got fined $400 for having a sandwich in his bag and not declaring it. It was found by a sniffer dog, his mum had made it and he forgot it was in there. I hope his mum re-embursed the fine. Anyway, this fresh in my mind we headed through and sure enough there was a sniffer dog. As our bags were on the way out of the scan the dog approached and put his paw on our bag...little shit I thought. But it was really cute so I couldn't hate it that much. The customs lady approached moved us to the side and asked "sir, do you have any food inside this bag you haven't declared?" I was sure I hadn't but maybe i'd forgotten something, I thought to myself, I'm too pretty for prison, especially when they find out I am on the inside for smuggling bananas! Shaking in fear Kinga stepped in and confidently answered "no, have had bananas in there but we have eaten them already". The lady said she had to check our back as the dog had marked it a potentially lethal. She looked through and found the top of a banana stalk, I still wasn't sure if that is punishable but it turns out it's not. I guess it's like finding the needle with out the heroin or papers with no canabis, a close call but we at away with it. We were off the hook and I was allowed to walk as a free man into New Zealand.

Our first day was in Christchurch, not much going on here apart from a lot of building work. In 2011 it was struck with 2 large earthquakes less than 6 months or so apart and it is still recovering. Wandering around you can see how the centre of the city has pretty much been destroyed, I think they have only just finished clearing the rubble and finally things are starting to be built again. 185 people lost their lives in those two earthquakes, I am amazed it wasn't more. 

From there we headed down to Queenstown "the adrenaline capital of NZ!" Sadly it seems adrenaline comes at a hefty price so no bungee jumping or canyon swinging for us, just a bit of wine tasting and mountain hiking. The Pinot Noir down there is lovely! The hostel we were staying in had quite a party element to it. It's quite strange how that in my head I am still young and can hang with the kids but when it comes to it I can't be bothered, I just moan about the noise they make and go to bed. If you are wondering if you are getting old then backpack around New Zealand for a couple of weeks and you will probably work out that you are! The other thing that stands out about the area is just how many Germans there are, I think there are more young German here than are left in Germany. In quite a surprising turn of events it turns out I quite like the Germans I have been meeting. I am British, I am born to not like the Germans be it through history or football but here I am, on the other side of the world finding out that Germans are people too. 

Hiking views and drinking wine

While in Queenstown we managed a day trip to Milford Sounds, wrongly named as it is in fact a Fiord. If you are wondering about the difference, a Fiord or Fjord in Norway is a bunch of water at the bottom of mountains formed by the ocean filling up valleys left behind from glacial movement back in the day. A sound, however, is a bunch or water filled up by the ocean caused by river erosion and natural water movement. Generally meaning fiords will have deeper lakes with steeper sides where as sounds have gentle slopes into the water. Smart huh? Want to know the difference between a Creek and a stream? Well a Creek....Just kidding, look it up yourself. Point being it should be Millford Fiords, not Sound. Any hoo, the trip was 5 hours in a bus there, 2 hours on a boat and 5 hours on a bus back again. That a lot of bus but it was worth it, spectacularly beautiful, we even met someone famous, she played a refugee in Lord of The Rings! She was pretty funny, she said there were loads of locals rounded up to play the extras and the only instructions they were given is "Do not smile". Now having been told that and having a man on a horse with a big beard ride past you shouting "The orcs are coming" well...everyone was in hysterics.

Milton Sound and a hike at Fox Glacier

Without bungee jumping or throwing myself off a mountain Queenstown was still very enjoyable, the hiking was spectacular and the town had a cool little ski town vibe. Our next stop was Nelson but as it is a good 14 hours or so on a bus we had one night at the Fox Glacier. Sadly the weather was awful so we wandered a bit then went to bed, didn't get a chance to see the Glacier but it's just a bit of ice isn't it? I can see that in the freezer every day.

Nelson was a nice little town, we hired a car for the day and asked some people in our hostel to join us for a day of driving around the top part of the South Island which is when we met Mia, our first Japanese traveller friend. We trekked to a waterfall, learnt Japanese and eat lots of Jelly Babies. Well, that last one was just me, I can't be trusted with sweets. 

After Nelson cam Blenheim, centre of the Marlborough wine region. We had a day on bikes drinking lots of free wine tasting. Thanks to a friend in a wine company we were able to have a full behind the scenes tour of the Whitehaven Vineyard. From grapes being delivered to drinking plenty of their range in the barrel room with stuff to take home too. Needless to say by the end we were pretty happy, it was my perfect day, apart from the weather. The weather has been a bit of an issue since Queenstown, grey skies and rain all the way which is far from ideal.

Photo bombed by a lama and Marlborough wine region

Our last two stops were Picton and Kaikoura. Picton was amazing, we borrowed bikes from our hostel and they were probably two of the worst bikes available to use, they should have been condemned. Kinga's gears were stuck so she only had the use of two and my little rust bucket had an issue with the handle bars, as in if you were going too fast they turn but the wheel doesn't. Somehow before we found all this out we were at the top of a pretty tricky mountain bike path. And that is the story of how Kinga's mountain biking career started and finished in one glorious 30 minute ride, needless to say it was probably Kinga's worst moment of the whole trip. Well...worst part until the rain came pouring down and we still had another 30 minutes or so to peddle home. 

Kaikoura was where we paid to go on a dolphin encounter to swim with hundreds of wild dolphins. To find out how we got on with the dolphins I guess you will have to wait as our plane is arriving into Auckland and once again I have written far too much to keep your attention.

Keep an eye out for the next update, until then...much love

The rest of Australia

So it has bee a very long time since I have updated this and treated you all to some words of our adventures. I sometimes find myself thinking of England and how far away it seems as we relax on the beach...not often or for very long...in fact once...I might have. Any hoo, we are now in New Zealand, currently sat on a bus twisting and winding it's way through various parts of Middle Earth. It is now Autumn on this side of the world meaning the sun has gotten weaker and the nights shorter but the trees and the changing colours is nothing but spectacular. It is quite strange thinking it is currently Autumn 2014 here, so we are going to have two Autumns and no Springs this year. So how did we get here? I guess that takes us back to Adelaide airport all those weeks ago.....

Another horrible flight, I believe we have found a worse airline than Ryanair in Tiger Airlines but that wasn't the problem, the weather was. Due to storms we were trapped on the plane for a while before take off but when we did finally manage to the turbulance had the plane hopping around more than a kangaroo on crack. It was the longest 1 hour flight I can remember but on the upside it will be a while before I need a manicure. As I am sure you will have worked out by the mere fact you are reading this we landed safely and had arrived in Tasmania.

We wandered over to pick up our rental car only to be given the pinkest of hot pink cars, I loved it. Tasmania was everything you wanted it to be, beautiful, clean and sparsely populated. 

Wineglass bay was a particular highlight with a 6 hour hike and just driving around the island, up and down mountains and through cool climate rainforest, pure nature. At one point we had pulled off the road to enjoy our lunch stop over looking Pirate Bay when a group of bikers came in a couple of minutes behind us. You know the type, loud bikes, big beards. Sensing danger as they looked at my pink wheels I thought I best speak first

"Bet your jealous" I managed to say

"Where ya from mate?" Came the thick Aussie accented reply

"England"

"Leave your testicles there mate or did you come here to get them removed?"

It was at this point I thought back to when we picked the car up and the agent asked if is pink ok or would you like a different colour..I should have probably accepted her offer.

Wineglass Bay

That was pretty much it for Tassie, we drove 1000 kms in 3 days, hiked a fair amount and got abused by local bikers, didn't see any devils but had a great time. Next stop was Brisbane to see our friend for the UK Jon, or Jonno in Australian.

Brisbane....drunk wine, went indoor climbing and spent a day on the beach. That was it really, 5 days watching Netflix and being called corned beef by Jonno's roommates...I don't even like corned beef! It was nice to finally slow down for a few days and relax with friends drinking wine, did I mention the wine?

Jonno, bored on a beach

Brisbane City

Spider Kinga

Sydney was next. We managed to get another deal on a camper van relocation and drove from Brisbane to Sydney, probably one of the most disappointing drives of all time. It looked wonderful on the map, another long coastal road but no, just a long road with nothing to see. Once again we were lucky enough to have friends to stay with, Steven and Dee. They have been quite a big part of our travels, we first met them way back in Laos where we were swimming in waterfalls and then run into them again in Ko Phagnan, Thailand where we partied together at the Full Moon Party. Last time we met them was in Kuala Lumpur as they were flying to Borneo we were heading to Myanmar and now they have ended their trip working in Sydney and let us stay. So four nights out in four different countries, quite an achievement. They are living in Manly, a suburb of Sydney to the North and a beautiful one at that.

First day was spent doing the classic touristy stuff, seeing the Opera House, the bridge, we went to Bonai Beach and met another traveller friend of past, Corey who was in Sydney for a few days. Sydney was one of those places that I didn't know if I would like too much as it is so famous and has such a high reputation to live up too but we both loved it. The only downside was the expense of eating hence we found ourselves in the cheapest places, sadly the cheapest is normally McDonalds dirtburgers. Following day was a trip up the coast to Palm Beach AKA Summer Bay, the fictional town where Home and Away is set. We went to our first ever AFL game that evening in the AK Arena built for the Olympics. The Sydney Swans Vs. Collingwood from Melbourne. In the train on the way over we got talking to a couple of fans. One guy told me that you can spot Collingwood fans as they have teeth missing then right on cue a chap over his left shoulder wearing a Collingwood cap who was stood there quietly eavesdropping our conversation removed his front two teeth and shouted "Go Collingwood" (with a lisp). 

The game itself I am sorry to say I found pretty boring, the pitch is so big and the stadium was sparsely populated so the atmosphere wasn't all that great. As for the game, it was like watching lots of men in tight shorts trying to catch an ostrich egg that is rolling down a hill. I don't know whether these two teams just weren't very good but for a game that relies on straight kicking and catching a ball they weren't doing either very well. Even Kinga was disappointed, the men weren't even hot men in tight shorts. On the upside the tickets were pretty cheap so we left at the beginning of the 4th quarter happy that we had seen our fair share of egg chasing for a lifetime.

Watching people fumbling around after eggs

Our last day in Sydney was spent lying on the beach in Manly, finding out that bodyboarding is much harder than it looks and that lungs have a surprisingly high capacity for water before you drown. I didn't find out the upper limit but I managed to take on board a fair share and am still breathing. They have pretty big waves out here. Saying our goodbyes and big thank yous to Steven and Dee before we knew it we were waving goodbye to Australia and enjoying a jaw dropping welcome to New Zealand. We flew into Christchurch which takes you over the central mountains and it was stunning to see.

Steven and Dee, plus us!

So in NZ we have spent a couple of days in Christchurch and a few in Queenstown but I am getting bored of writing now, my head hurts as this has been a very winding bus journey and you are probably bored of reading by now. I am also engaged in a battle with the snoozing Kinga next to me, she is slowly inching her way over to take up both seats and squeeze me into a corner, I must fight back so until next time, peace out home boys and girls x

From Kuta to Adelaide

So we sit here in yet another airport having been told our flight is delayed. Luckily we left plenty of time for our connections as apperntly even if you miss a connecting flight on the same air line "flights are booked at your own risk sir, delays happen." is all the help we're gonna get!

So we left Kuta having learnt to surf, and visiting a village called Bumbang, leaving my calf mussels very pink and crispy boarding a plane to Melbourne. We boarded our first flight from Kuta to Kuala Lumpur where we would change planes to head to Melbourne. For some reason once we were 30,000 feet in the air my brain decided it would now be a good moment to reming me that KL has two airports, a quick check and my fears were confirmed in that we are landing at the wrong one. Another lesson learnt from the Hulland school of travel organisation! As it always seems to it all worked out in the end amongst a mild panic and we landed safely in Melbourne. I thought immigration in the UK was a chore but this took the biscuit. All in all it took us about 2 and a half hours to navigate the various queues before Kinga got taken aside for a brief interrogation and we were free to leave. The interrogation was the usual stuff, lots of small questions to basically say "Do you plan to find a job and stay here illegally?", That would have been much quicker!

I would love to tell you all about Melbourne but we changed plans and were only there for around half a day. We were always heading over to Adelaide to meet up with friends but were never sure how we were going to get there then last minute we found a cheap camper van rental. By cheap...I mean it was 50p a day to rent it, the company paid for all of our petrol...and we got $100 travel expenses. It was a relocation rental, so someone left it in Melbourne and we were the lucky people who got to take it the other way. Expecting a small VW style camper I was quite surprised to find the behemoth that sat, waiting for us to return her to her home. We had a TV, cooker, shower, toilet (not that I dared, we had a deal that who used it emptied it! I guess deep down I always knew it would be me emptying it.) everything to sustain a simple existence. Day one was spent driving the Great Ocean Road to the South West of Melbourne, stopping off in Torquay and various other scenic stops. It is lovely but I would re-name it the Very Good Ocean Road because compared to the drive from Biarritz to Bilbao and a couple of others in Europe it's not quite on the same level, but it is still lovely. Maybe the Lovely Ocean Road. 

Fine dining!

 Great Ocean Road

Just as we were looking for somewhere to park up for the night we managed our first wild life encounter, we nearly hit a kangaroo who suicide leaped in front of us but we just managed to swerve. With limited knowledge of kangaroo suicidal tendencies we found a quiet lay by, cooked some carbonara and settled down for the night planning to set off early in the morning, around 8am.

So at 11am we were off and the second day driving was pretty relentless. We passed a few scenic vineyards but is was a long slog of straight roads small towns. The second night was spent in a town called Keith, their claim to fame, owning a Land Rover on a Pole...I couldn't make that stuff up! This time we had smartly decided to park in a rest stop for truck conveniently next to a railway to ensure that sleep would be a very elusive state that night. On the flip side we managed to make and early start and our road adventure concluded in Adelaide.

The amazing town of Keith

In Adelaide we have been staying with the amazing Ormond family. We met Kym travelling through Thailand and he made that mistake of saying "Come stay at my place sometime" so we did! The whole family has been amazing, I managed to get myself KO'd by Kevin, Kym's dad, on our first night. Being KO'd seems to be a family tradition where you are welcomed with so much beer and amazing wine the next morning you feel...lets say fuzzy! Our time in Adelaide has been great including wandering the Riesling trail in Clare Valley, a rainy day at a beach, playing with all the indigenous marsupials we could wish for and enjoying festival events. All that was great fun but by far the highlight has been meeting all the family and enjoying their hospitality...and wine...and whisky...and beer. Our final night was a proper style Aussie barbecue with delights such as kangaroo, alpaca, crocodile sausages and goat on the grill. So I guess this is my last chance to once again say thanks to the whole family, lovely to meet you all and maybe see you in the UK sometime.

Team selfie

Kevin and Kym, father and so. Cooking dream team!

So that's it, you are probably bored by now so i'll wrap it up, we are delayed on our way to Tasmania to start a new chapter of our tour.

Peace and love to all.

Making anemones

So it's been over a week or something like that since I have written to you all so I guess I should take a few minutes to remind you how jealous you all are of us.

So we find ourselves in Lombok, fighting off mosquitoes and the bracelet mafia while enjoying beaches that would easily take there place in my top 5 of all time I have ever been too. More specifically we are in a small town called Kuta which is on the Southern tip of the island. Lombok itself is the island to the East of Bali in Indonesia. So that said lets get going.

Sorry to disappoint you but I feel I must begin by letting you know so far neither of has been sick, which is good I guess, and neither of us had had the poops even though we have been enjoying some very sceptical looking food stuffs. Our first few days were in an area called Jimberan, not much to report really, beaches, fresh fish, lovely hosts at out home stay thats about it. Following this we headed to a cool town called Ubud via many tourist sites and temple, I'll be honest, I have forgotten the name of most of them but they were all....touristy. We did eat some strange coconut jelly sweet things made out of rice. I have no idea how it's rice and I am convinced they are lying to me. I am probably better off not really knowing how they are made anyway. I got suckered in the usual way by me asking what is it, they say try one, I say ok, then I say it's horrible and go to walk away, then they make me feel guilty and I end up buying two. One day I may learn, but no time soon I am sure!

Temple somewhere in Bali

Ubud was great, every corner you turn is another mystical archeological wonder, but more fun than buildings...they have a monkey forest. By now I am sure you know I can never miss the chance to interact with my primitive brothers. Just as you walk in there is a small fountain where they jump, swim and fight, this could keep me amused for hours just watching them monkey around. We explored further and had a good laugh at a poor spanish tourist who had given a baby monkey a small snack. I guess the mother was jealous and stole it from her baby, not very nice. As mummy walked of she dropped the food and sensing the opportunity the Spanish girl went to give it back to the baby but no....it was a trap. No sooner had she touched the food, mummy was back on the scene ninja kicking her to the face throwing in an uppercut, bitchy words and a bite to the shoulder. Screaming as loud as anyone would when under attack from ninja monkey the girl ran away. Sadly she ran the wrong way and got herself cornered! She was a full on prisoner, mummy sat looking uninterested but every movement Spain made she spun around and hissed at her. Spain looked to baby for support but he just sat there looking desperately at his little monkey paws, they had food but now just hung there...empty. After a few minutes one of the park attendants came to negotiate the release of the hostage with a big stick, given ninja monkeys previous moves I thought a stick would not pose much of a problem, alas she run away and the Ubud hostage crisis of 2014 came to an end. Spain did take a bite to the shoulder but it didn't look like the skin was broken so she should be safe from rabies.

After our entertainment was over we wandered a bit further and found a quiet little corner to snack on a biscuit...it had been 2 hours since breakfast. Looking everywhere we were pretty confident and cracked them out. We were in an alleyway, no monkeys in front, none behind, an 11 foot wall to the left and long building to the right, we were as secure as we possibly could be. As Kinga unwrapped our snack....BOOM...I received a killer blow to the head as a monkey from nowhere landed on me, launching off my noggin as quickly as he had appeared ninja monkey the sequel 360'd in mid air, cartwheeling over my hand. Kinga stepped back and let out a defensive scream to irritate the monkey but impervious to human screaming he grabbed the biscuits with four of his buddies and they were off, as quickly as they appeared. We had just been mugged. As if to rub it in one just sat there, staring us down as he munched on our biscuit, eyes saying to me "come and take this delicious oat cake back...I dare you." Defeated and hungry we slopped off to find some real lunch.

 Monkey...eating my bloody biscuit!!

The rest of Ubud was no where near as exciting as that but still an amazing town. After three days we were on the road again and heading here...Kuta. The trip was uneventful except for at one of our bus changes the driver started telling us how mosquitoes are everywhere at the moment, the way he was taking it sounds like malaria and dengue fever is a certainty rather than a possibility. Happy to report so far we are fine but our mosquito repellent is running out fast and every time we blow our nose we assume it's malaria.

 Ubud rice fields

As I mentioned earlier Kuta is pretty amazing, we have mopeds and have been exploring beaches up and down the coast and everyone of them deserves a place in my top 5. The tourists around here don't seem too nice though, it is a bit of a surfer town so everyone seems to be trying to act really cool, makes it hard for me to fit in, I gave that up a few years ago! The locals are all amazing and friendly, especially the little kids that try to sell you bracelets, they are frekin' relentless. "Hello sir hello ma'am, want to buy bracelet?" Over the course of a meal you will get asked by about 15 kids between the ages of 5-15 at a guess. I want to know where the money goes, of course they say they make it but I bet they don't, there must be a boss who supplies the materials, I am on the scent and I will expose these underground bracelet gangs.

The one other thing of interest happened today during a swimming session in the warm water off the beautiful beach we were chilling on. Have I mentioned the beaches? So we were swimming and paused by some rocks when Kinga just looked at me and said "Don't move." And I am talking about a proper don't move, full on serious voice and stone cold eyes. So naturally I shit myself and spun around looking for what se was looking at fully expecting to be eaten by a shark or at least speared by a swordfish or something. As I spun I stood up and as my high pitched screams gave away I had found it. We were surrounded by sea anemones, those little poisonous spiky little bastards and I had just stepped right on one. My foot was bleeding and on fire so we swam back quicker than I have ever managed before. By the time we were back at the beach the pain had subsided but still there. We asked an expert, by expert I mean a local man selling pineapples on the beach, he reckons I should be fine, I guess I will know tomorrow morning. I am either going to wake up with a foot or a massive swollen pus ball, makes for an exciting night!

 One of Kuta's amazing beaches

Well that really is it, thank you and well done if you are still reading, that is 10 minutes of your life you will never get back! Soon we are of to Kangaroo land but before that I need to learn how to surf, thats for tomorrow.

Goodnight and I love you all!

 Me, struggling on through

Arrived in Bali

So after a gap of three months we are back on our adventure and have arrived in Bali.

Whenever you are travelling long distances to go away I always believe it is a really good idea to spend that little bit of extra cash and buy a good quality flight. I am not talking first class...unless you can afford it...if you can hit me up, we should talk...but at least a direct flight to get to your destination as quickly as possible leaving you refreshed and ready to go from day one. Sadly, what I believe and what I do are quite the opposite, that is why we were tavelling for 32 hours, leaving London in the wee hours of Tuesday morning to fly to Mumbai, 9 hours overnight there waiting for another 5 hour flight to Singapore. 3 more hours there before getting on our next flight to Bali and finally arriving at around 1am Friday morning.

The first flight was nice enough, my streak of surviving with my clothes clean came to an abbrut end as the sweetcorn from  BBQ chicken wrap became dislodged by some mild turbulance and left 4 or 5 nice saucey streaks down my shirt. After an hour or so of non stop bumpinesds the sick bag was on standby but never really threatened. Mumbai airport is dry...Goes without saying I didn't enjoy it there. Having flown through Doha before and encountering the same situation I vowed never to go to a dry airport again, looks like I failed. We did concoct a plan that involed duty free wine and a couple of Costa coffee cups, we even got the cups but then did a little research to find out that you need a permit to consume alcohol in Mumbai state. Not wanting to get arrested before we even finished our transit we veto'd that plan and set about finding a quiet corner to make a nest for the night.

The next flight was a 5 hour ordeal on a plane that would make Ryan Air seen spacious. We also had the pleasure of being right on the back row so we couldn't recline our seats and we had a constant audience of people waiting to us the lavotory looking at us. At least I entertained them as one of the side effects of not being able to recline your seat is that you must sleep pretty upright. The result...That thing you do when your head colaspes forward and you wake yourself up as if you have just beed slapped around the face. I spend 4 hours doing my best nodding dog impression. It was also on this flight that Kinga also decided to cover herself in red wine and sweet and sour chicken. I know what your thinking...Red...with sweet and sour? Sadly they didn't have any Alsace Dry Reisling!

Finally we made it to Singapore where we would have to clear immigration, collect our bags and check in again. We were officially in Singapore for 32 minutes, 22 of them waiting for my stupid luggage. Finally after one more flight we have arrived.

Our system of tactical naps and red wine has worked and have woken up feeling fit, strong, ready for a day of sightseeing but it is raining like mad. That said, being British this never bothers me. 

That's about it for now, as I sit on out terrace writing Kinga is next to me, scaring us by reading all the side effects of the various drugs we have with us. Apparently a side effect of travel sickness pills is nausea and vomiting...Hmmmmm.  Keep an eye out for updates, I am sure I will get the message to you if you can't be bothered to look. I hope you are all well and let the adventure re-commence.

Peace

A Strange Turn Of Events

Hmmm, England in Winter...I didn't think I'd be here. Right now as I write this I should be staggering around Sydney Harbor in a drunken stupor having seen in the New Year under an explosion of bright fireworks lighting up the Opera House. Realistically I would be asleep in a park somewhere as I couldn't afford an outrageously priced hotel, stone cold sober as the drinks are so expensive having seen a few blurry flashes of fireworks in the sky from 10 kilometers away. Alas neither of these are true as I am sat on a couch back in the amazing small town of Bury St Edmunds in England.

Due to family reasons we are taking a break in our trip, we arrived back in the cold on the 20th December and started work the next day...grrrr...work. Out next flight is booked from Kuala Lumpur to Melbourne and we will be picking this up again in February.

It was a long time since my previous travelly post so lets give you a swift overview of what we got up to.

Thailand after Pai...

Lopburi, I didn't catch rabies.

Ayutthaya, Nice temples and a lovely break from the craziness of Bangkok

Bangkok, Crazy

Train Ride, Hungry followed by an evening in a random town called Don Sak with no-where to eat so Pot Noodles for dinner.

Koh Phag-nan, Full Moon party craziness

Koh Lanta, Rainy

Koh Phi Phi, Stunningly beautiful and took Kinga to an all you can eat buffet and a boxing match #Romance!

Phuket, one night, up at 3am

Kuala Lumpur, Disappointing at first but pulled through in the end

Myanmar/Burma, Loved it

Yangon, Expected nothing but loved it

Mandalay, Expected loads but disappointed

Bagan, Temples and greatness

Back to Yangon, loved it again

Malaysia

Kuching, Borneo, Very nice people.

After that, Bury St Edmunds, center of the universe!!!!

So, that brings you up to date. There are so many stories in between like sweet chili mackerel and pee-ing by the side of the road in Myanmar but i can't write them right now. If your lucky i will in the future...or you'll have to buy the book!

Happy New Year everyone, roll on 2014!

Pai and stuff

Been a while.....

Well...what to say. It's been so long. I think last time I was writing was in Chaing Mai after a rather pleasant meal.

So we left the next day to go further North to a small town called Pai. I cannot tell you how many people told us we had to go there, so we did. We don't like to disappoint people. When we ask for further information as to why we should go 3 hours out of our way, along a hellishly bendy road in a speeding mini bus round rather large, mountains drops no one could really give us a reason apart from, it's just lovely...we were sold. So 3 hours after a hellishly long speeding mini bus ride rounds hairpin bends and sheer mountainous drops we got to Pai. We were not disappointed, so beautiful. We were there for 4 nights staying in our little bungalow with a hammock out front just relaxing. We met a lovely couple from Berlin, Agathe and Manu, who we spent a lot of time with. We hired motorbikes and visited and jumped off waterfalls, struggled to get to the top of scenic viewpoints and stupidly decided to go to a hot springs. The later not a great idea when it is 36 degrees outside of the water. We did make it to the source of the hot springs where the water comes out at a fresh 80 C. Luckily there was a sign warning us not to boil eggs, I was relived to have seen it because I was just about to crack mine out and organise some soft boiled. Aside from this we had an amazing, relaxing time tubing down the river for a couple hours and eat a lot of food. 

The food was good overall, we were a little worried when on our first day the first restaurant we sat in had a small menu that included delights such as noodle soup with pig entrails and pork blood soup. We ended up going elsewhere! I did get an opportunity to enjoy a local delight as I was offered the chance to try a chicken heart, quite crunchy and made me gag a little but I managed to keep it down. Wouldn't kill another chicken soon to get to it's heart though.

On our first evening we found a great bar serving draught beer (kind of a luxury round here) and got to know the owner. He is a great guy and on our final night played live music for us. To begin with we were the only people in the bar but the music was attracting people in. As the owner was busy singing (kind of) I took the role of bar tender and started dishing out the beers. In the end a couple of folk musicians came and played, with me on the boxy drum seat thing and Kinga with a child's tambourine it turned into quite a jam session. 

After 4 days of relaxing, eating, making good friends and getting annoyed at hippies it was time to return to Chiang Mai. With regards to hippies, I am all for peace and love and saving the planet and stuff. I just don't feel the need to grow my hair into an un washable mess, sit around and get high while talking about some species of toad that is under threat of extinction due to the expansion of the local chicken factory. You know that super expensive, healthy soy latte with organic sugar and probably weird lentil stuff in it that you are arrogantly boasting how healthy it is just loud enough so we all have to listen in...how can you afford it hippie? Capitalism or selling drugs? Sorry about that, rant over

The way back to Chaing Mai was great as we hired a motorbike instead of getting the speeding minibus and rode the most amazing road ever on a beautiful sunny day. Since we returned and people have asked us about Pai all we could say was...you have to go, it's lovely. Pai is a place that is hard to explain.

By that evening we had landed in Bangkok and went straight to Khao San Road, centre of the drink, dancing and good times. It was a crazy assault on the senses. Having come from possibly one of the most chilled out towns in the world straight to here, we lasted about 30 minutes before getting grumpy and going to bed.

The next day we just wandered before meeting up with Kym and Devin who we had previously shared our barbecue with in Chaing Mai. We also got to meet Kym's cousin, Sam, and her husband, Des, and had a pretty damn good night. That pretty much sums up what Bangkok was to us, lazy day followed by a few drinks with friends followed by a lazy day. Normally the lazy days were not out of choice, well, I guess a bad choice made the night before when I said yes to another bottle of Samgson.

We did work a few other things out, Bangkok is loud and a bit smelly, it really helps if you have someone who is local to help you out and a mix of hangovers and pushy market sales people and tuk tuk is not good. When you walk past a market stand there is a certain technique you need to perfect to keep things as peaceful as possible...

1) Study the merchandise as you approach but make no movement, no matter how small, towards the stall. Pay close attention to the angle of your hips and shoulders, the slightest lean and the game is over.

2) If you see something you like the look off, study where the owner of the stall is and approach from their blind spot.

3) have a look but don't pick it up, they can sense it.

4) If you don't like it you have around a three second window to beat a hasty retreat, make sure you are counting in your head on your approach.

5) DO NOT make eye contact.

6) If you want to study further pick it up and prepare yourself for first contact.

7) DO NOT look interested or show excitement, it could be the flipping Holy Grail but do not let them know you like it, instead say "it's alright, but there's a better one down there." and point the other way.

8) Put it back down even if you want it, look at something else while they are breathing down your neck. Casually point back to it and ask "How much do you want for it?"

9) Negotiations are on, get the best price you can.

10) Feel guilty when you realise you are haggling over what is about 20p and end up paying more than they are asking for. This step is optional but I always find myself doing it!

Right now we are in a small town just outside of Bangkok while we wait for our visas to Myanmar to be sorted, they should be ready in a few days time. Tomorrow is a trip to a town called Lopburi where they have a temple full of monkeys, I am part convinced that I will go to feed them and catch me some rabies!

And that is that. I am sorry it has taken so long for me to write this, I know you all miss us so much and really look forward to these posts.

Big love and stay safe. 

Additional,

Having written this last night I am now adding in about the most amazing day ever. We visited Lopburi and I didn't catch rabies. I did however have monkeys climbing all over me and grooming me, it was amazing. In Lopburi there are so many monkeys mainly centred around one temple known, funnily enough, as monkey temple. They are free and wild, come and go as they like and are worshiped by the locals. Once a year they even hold a feast in their honour where they put food out for them. It was amazing to walk around there and just watch and enjoy being so close to them. One even managed to steel a mobile phone off a local, it was crazy to see them try to get it back but they know what they are doing. The naughty monkey was sat at the top of a telegraph pole while someone threw mangoes and rice up to it. The idea being that they catch the mango and drop the phone. It worked well, sadly no one caught the phone so it smashed on the floor, now the unhappy owner has lost their phone and their mango! Hehe, clever monkey!

That is it!

Egg Custard

Our last couple of meals have been quite interesting, we visited another barbecue place just outside the North East corner of the old city. We walked past it everyday and it looks like a real locals hangout. It must seat over 200 people under a simple roof with a buffet in the middle full of different cuts of raw meat. You have a bucket with fiery coals in the middle of your table with a cooking plate on top and away you go. We went with a couple of friend we met and had a great time, the food was good, just unsure what we were eating most of the time. A couple of nights before that we spent the night buying various types of street food from the night market, between the four of us we sampled most things available. Most of the food were simple mystery balls or meat on a stick, we worked out that at one point the balls were octopus and the meat was pork belly but as for the rest of it we have no idea. We all survived with no ill effects and got to try some lovely...and some rancid...food. I think meat always tastes better on a stick. Last night we had a very disappointing experience at a Japanese restaurant. I had teriyaki beef as a set meal which included miso soup (good), the beef and rice (fine) and egg custard. Now in my mind the egg custard was going to be like a custard tart back in the UK, just without the tart bit, but nicely sweetened and a nice finish to the meal. Having demolished all my other food rather promptly I set on my egg custard. When I touched it it was warm which I wasn't expecting, but custard is often warm so I'd go with it and with my mouth watering, waiting for that sugary goodness I dipped my spoon in a placed it in my mouth. My initial reaction was to spit it straight out again but I don't think Kinga would have been to happy being covered in what I can only describe as egg custard. It was like warm egg flavoured half set cream. Salty, eggy, just generally nasty and has no place on the table of torture victims let alone paying customers. Add into it the fact my mouth was fully expecting a lovely creme brûlée style dish please understand how upset I was with this vile creation that had made its way onto my palate. Being me I returned to it for another four bites before finally giving up and classing it a lesson learnt. Upon reflection I must admit when I think of the term egg custard that was pretty much what you should be getting, if you order it in England and get this wonderful, velvety, sweet temptation then you should be surprised and delighted that in fact tastes nothing like warm egg juice. Kinga's side of the meal, while underwhelming, was ok.

All this talk of food brings us nicely onto our next point from the other end. Although many place here do have Western style toilets it is always advisable to take toilet paper with you because here they like to you a little thing we know as the bum gun or bottom rocket. It is effectively a hose pipe with a high pressured gun on the end that you stick between your legs and give it a good squirt. As a man you want to be a good aim as a high power squirt straight on to your dangling custard eggs creates quite a moment on uncomfortableness. Out of interest I thought I'd give the bum gun a go and to be honest I am quite impressed, quick, efficient, makes you smile, seems like Asia could be onto something. There are only two major drawbacks, getting your head around who may have been holding the gun before you and when you are finished, how do you dry yourself. I went into that toilet knowing full well I was ready to give it ago, I was so confident I left the toilet paper outside. Impresses after a quick rinse I was now soggy, no hand towels, no tissue, nothing. I just had to pull my shorts up and hope no-one would walk behind me for the next hour or so as the questionable patch on my bum dried up. Of reflection I would recommend giving the gun ago, but still take your paper, I wonder how the locals dry themselves.

Surviving a scary night

Last words special update

As I write this I truly believe I am about to die in some horrific way. We are currently trying to get some sleep in a place called Samoeng Resort just outside a small town in the middle of nowhere up a mountain somewhere. The resort has about 30 or so individual bungalows spread across a wide area, we are the only people here. 

The day started off great with hiring a moped and going to an elephant sanctuary and getting kissed by an elephant before hitting the road and coming out here. The road is a 100km loop out of Chaing Mai known as the Samoeng loop. It is possible to do in one day but we decided to break it up with an over night stop and found this place.

We were shown to our bungalow and were instantly underwhelmed by the general repair but accepted this was the way it was going to be. We got back on the bike to go into the town to find something to eat which is when the rain started, and boy did it rain. By the time we got there we were soaked through, luckily there was a small clothes shop selling really cheap stuff so we could get something for tomorrow. We found a little place to eat then bought some snacks off a very nice old local who spoke a little English and we cam back to "The Resort". 

As nighttime slowly crept up it was starting to feel quite creepy, we are the only people here, there were lots of strange noises outside that sound like footsteps, there was something on the roof, every little noise got to us. The door was shivering in the wind knocking each time as if there was someone trying to get in. I bet this place is great when it's busy but when you are the only people it gets quite unsettling. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some movement behind Kinga's head, like a ninja I jumped up and pounced on the snail that was about to attack her and chucked it outside while she just froze. Wondering what was happening I explained I was just saving her life, no biggie. I chuckled to myself as I threw it outside thinking how lucky he is that I am not Vietnamese. After that minor scare I thought back to the old man in the town and realised every horror movie has a creepy old man, normally works at a petrol station, who asks questions like "so where are you staying?" Just like he did. I turned to tell Kinga but she didn't want to know. Then...the power went out. Lights out, TV off, no staff around, this is it. I know all heroes on TV grab a flashlight and go and check, sadly we didn't have a flashlight, I'm not a hero and they normally are the first ones to die anyway. So I asked Kinga to go check it out, she also said no. 

So now here we are, my iPad our only source of light, every noise in the dark has been amplified by ten and I swear there are footsteps outside, the building has someone on the roof and there is a snail out there currently forming an army to get some revenge. I only hope he is so slow it will take a day to two and we'll be gone. So as I fall asleep I write these final words so that in the future they may hopefully make a horror movie out of our story. Sadly, realistically, if we do get killed it will probably be a robbery as we have money and an iPad and these words will never be read as this iPad will be sold to some dude, probably named Mr Kim. That's not a comforting thought either......

This hasn't worked for a while

Awaiting their next victims

Hasn't been used in a while, probably because no one lives long enough!

Well, we survived, I think the killer came in but when he realised I sleep naked he probably ran away, most people would.

Chiang Mai time

After 54 hours of travelling we finally made if from Luang Prabang to Chaing Mai, Thailand. Currently sat by a pool (in someone else's hotel) waiting to get kicked out but will see how it goes!

So the slow boat was quite an experience, if you want the full report it will be on my website soon, I completely understand why they call it the slow boat now. 10 hours on the river day one followed by another 11 hours on day two. We arrived in Huay Xay, the border town in Laos at 7pm, sadly too late to catch a crossing as the border closes at 6pm. Just up from the arrival point we found a dodgy little guest house to stay in which was cheap, we figured we'd have some nice accommodation soon so we can rough it for one more night. That night I am happy to report that we had our first submission to a round of food poisoning and it wasn't me. Poor Kinga spent more time in our dodgy guesthouse bathroom wishing her surroundings were slightly nicer than she did in the bedroom. I was, very supportively, staying out of the way, in bed, sleeping. She must have been up about 5 or 6 times, got to love South East Asia. 

The next morning, although slightly tired, she was showing no knock on effects, she's a warrior and we were off to Thailand. We crossed the border easily and went to get the bus to Chaing Mai only to be told it was full...shit. It was easy to get from the boat to the bus station, when you get stamped in at the immigration office there are pick up trucks waiting for you. When you ask how much they point to a board which has two prices, 30 baht to the bus station or 50 baht to the hospital, they are the only two options! I guess they don't have much faith in the crappy little boats that take you across the river. Fortunately at the bus station we weren't the only people in this situation and between 11 of us we managed to charter a private mini bus for only a couple of dollars more than we would have paid on the big bus. Not only was it more comfortable but we arrived into Chaing Mai in half the time. It was good for something to finally work out for the better.

While Chaing Mai has been nice it feels a bit weird as we have suddenly reached the point where we don't know what we are doing. All of our planning so far had been around being in Luang Prabang for the festival, that has now past so we are kind of lost. We hired mopeds one day and went out to an amazing place called Tiger Kingdom where we got to pose with big tigers and play with baby ones, that was great, probably wouldn't want to do it the other way round though. Aside from that it's been a really lazy few days. We found a large night market and I bought some pants, Kinga has been seeing her fist lady boys dotted around and seems unsure what to make of them, we have eaten a lot of food and now we are relaxing and planning our next adventures. Tomorrow we will be hiring a moped again to ride through the mountains and hopefully visit some hill tribes, maybe ride an elephant. To rent it we will probably go to the same place as I did get a rather nice pink helmet to wear for my safety...and their amusement. After that who knows........I think I am going to go have a massage now. Take care.

We are sailing

I am currently writing this sat on a boat cruising up the Mekong river to the Thai border. I am not sure if we will make it to Thailand tonight but fingers crossed, nothing booked and no expectations. So let's catch up.

Luang Prabang is amazing, so beautiful, every way you turn is another postcard shot. From the golden pagodas contacted by the bright orange gowns of the young monks to the palm trees reaching out over the Mekong River and the the jungled mountain side back drop. Just stunning. Our first day was a lazy day as most first days are, just sauntering around taking pictures. Luang Prabang is a quite a compact town so you end up bumping into people you recognise. We met 3 groups from different hostels that we were talking to on the plane, it creates a really relaxed, friendly atmosphere. 

We visited an amazing waterfall, when you arrive you walk up past a bear sanctuary before reaching the swimming area. Here is a smaller waterfall you get to jump or dive from into a lovely pool. There is also a rope swing for a more unconventional entry. There was on point where a Chinese girl was going for a swing, it is quite intimidating up there and, understandably, she paused for a long time building up confidence to make the leap. This drew a bit of attention and before you know it she had a pretty large audience. Every time she bent her knees to jump but pulled out you could feel the anticipation building. Finally she launched herself off the tree to loud cheers from the engrossed crowd but the cheers suddenly turned to worry as she failed to let go and was quickly swinging back to where she'd launched from and the rocks below. We collectively took a breath of concern, but she held on and was swinging out again. Impromptu chants from the swelling crowd of drop, drop were echoing around the pool as the rope ran out of momentum and she was left hanging like a bucket about to be dropped into a well before finally letting go of the rope and plunging into the water. As she resurfaced alive she did so to a rapturous round of applause and cheering. Sadly, the poor German man who back flipped of a waterfall before following it up with a very impressive somersault from a rope swing was greeted with silence, no one batted an eye lid, bloody show off!

After our cooling swim we headed onwards and upwards, we didn't realise what was coming. After plenty of small turquoise lagoons being loaded by their own little water fall we rounded a corner only to look up and see a magnificent waterfall, casually eroding the rocks below with immense success. With a typically Laos lack of healthy and safety, beside the waterfall was a loosely worn mud track enabling you to climb to the top, I'd guess it's around 100 metres. Apart from the leeches it was easy going up but once there you are quickly reminded that waterfalls always look better from the bottom. After a hairy climb down again, flip flops aren't ideal, we were leaving this wonderful piece of nature behind.

On the Sunday night the town put on a farewell festival for us. Other people said the festival was to mark the end of rainy season and to thanks the water gods for the Mekong river and all the prosperity it brings. Also to apologise for misusing the water, I knew the real reason behind it. The festival in the evening was a spectacular event and we are so lucky to have been there for it. All the boats that we have witnessed being built all week are lit up and paraded through the streets before being cast away in the water. The boats were stuffed with food and money as an offering and a thank you to the gods. I am not sure if the gods ever receive the offerings, I think there is a little man waiting around the corner with a fishing rod reeling the boats in and helping himself to everything on board, but that's just the sceptic in me! The atmosphere was buzzing as tourists and locals alike joined in the celebrations, floating candles in homemade mini rafts, lighting lanterns with various degrees of success. I would imagine looking up to see if your under a tree before lighting a lantern would be a prerequisite, but it turns out that not the case. As the evening celebrations were dying down we saw a crazy man dancing in the street who invited us to join his family in celebrating, I firmly believe it is unlucky not to do what a crazy man dancing in the street invites you to do so we sat with them. They didn't really speak too much English so the conversation wasn't flowing but the home made rice spirit definitely was. An hour or so of drinking we were lucky that the police arrived to enforce the curfew and shut the party down so we had the chance to flee and stumble back to our hostel. It was such a privilege to get the opportunity to sit and enjoy the company of some locals on such a day, I even got to take part in some crazy dancing on the street with my new friend.

After a night of rice spirit fuelled shenanigans we were off at 7am the next morning, needless to say I wasn't feeling my best. The first 9 hours on the boat before getting to Pak Beng were spent sleeping and eating. Once again we are being treated to nature at its finest, the river and jungle, this is how people have been travelling up and down the mighty Mekong for centuries, looking around outside you can imagine it hasn't changed for millions of years, right now I could be anywhere in time. Well, the iPad on my lap gives away that it is definitely post 2012, but apart from that there could be dinosaurs over the hills!

I guess that's it for now, overall loved Luang Prabang, Thailand I am not too excited by but I hope it will surprise me, fingers crossed.

Extra; Kinga's reason for not going into the National Muesum in Luang Prabang "it's just a bunch of stuff". I think that's the concept of a museum!

Travelling again

So as I write this we are on our way to Laos, Luang Prabang. This was the journey I had been dreading, I hadn't properly explained it to Kinga but it involves 30 hours on a sleeper bus, with no toilet over bumpy jungle roads, basically Hell. In a sick way I was quite looking forward to it, I see uncomfortable bus journeys as a rite of passage for travellers, the harder the journey the more you deserve the destination. Anyway, I sat down and over breakfast explained how this leg of the journey will work, where we will get on and off the bus, how we sleep on the bus and just ask when we want to go to the toilet and he will stop to let us do our business at the side of the road. I am currently sat on a plane! Funnily enough, even my softest "it'll be over before you know it" didn't work. To be fair it's probably worked out well for me as it's just an hours flight as opposed to 30 hours on a bus and I get a good excuse when we talk to fellow travellers about our journey from Hell. 

So where did I leave you last?

We only had one day in Hue so we booked a tour, a cruise on the perfume river and checking out some of the mausoleums in the area. Hue used to be the capital so some pretty important people died around here and thier burial sites were pretty spectacular. The perfume river is so called as upstream there are loads of blossom trees that drop their load into the river, as it floats through the city it creates a wonderful perfumed aroma. I think that was probably right a few decades ago, now it smell like every other Vietnamese city, like mopeds. 

That evening we were back on the train heading to Hanoi, we had stocked up on pot noodles so we missed the banana leaf gate incident again. This time the train was pretty good, I slept well at least.

We arrived in Hanoi and just had a relaxing day. As a City Hanoi seems a little more peaceful than HCM did, there is a large lake and park and less people to sell you stuff, that's good for my weight allowance! During our time here we wandered around the Botanincal Garden which included playing with a monkey. It was in a cage but had a little stick, it looked like he was trying to prise the bars apart. If you tried to take the stick from him he wasn't happy. After a while I think the tables turned and he was playing with us. He kept holding the stick out for us then pulling away at the last second, cheeky little guy. Apart from that we basically just walked a lot and looked at things.

The next day was what we were looking forward to, Ha Long Bay. HLB is the epitome of Vietnam. Crystal clear water with rocky limestone outcrops towering over you, covered in lush mini jungle. Ever since I was a boy I looked a pictures of this place and similar wanting to someday go there and now is my time. It is a 4 hour bus ride there, do the cruise around the bay and visit a floating island before a 4 hour bus ride back again. It will be a long day but well worth it. So we got on the bus and 4 hours later we were there, I could just see the outline of the nearer peaks on the horizon. We were told to wait, so we did, we waited...and waited...and waited. After about an hour the guide came back and told us all boats have been cancelled due to a typhoon of the coast further south, I was distraught. Of all the days for an Asian country to finally give a shit about health and safety? We were left there for another 2 hours, sitting on the hard concrete floor being teased by the horizon before we were hearded back onto the bus and back to Hanoi. That was probably my only chance to be there and we got so close. One thing you learn as you go round though, is no matter how bad you have it, someone has it worse. There was an American family who were staying in in HCM, flew up especially to visit Ha Long, stayed one night and were flying back that evening. Eight people all together wasted all that money and probably had a crap time like us!

Most evening were spent drinking Bia Hoi at beer corner. That is actually the name of an area, funnily enough I liked it there. Bia Hoi translates to fresh beer and it is that simple made during the night and sold to next day. It has no preservatives in it so it has to be all sold by then end on the day or it will go off. I was more than happy to do my bit to help, oh it is also outrageously cheap, about 20p a pint. We made a few friends over some fresh beer, sitting on the street on our little plastic stools. The sad thing is the beer normally runs out by 10, but at 12 the police come round and shut every one down. We did find a lock in one night but otherwise we have been well behaved. Quality wise it is like a light lager but it all depends on how much the owner has decided to water it down that day.

So all in all a few good days interspersed with extreme disapointment but we are safe and well and now in Luang Prabang, Laos. Hope you are all well. Photos to follow so keep an eye out.

Additional...I saw something on the way to the airport that you wouldn't think possible, a man asleep on the back of a moped whilst being driven at speed, either that or he was dead, strange to see.

Who's in Hue

After one hell he'll of a bus journey we have arrived at our latest destination, Hue in mid Vietnam. It's nice to get the front seat of a bus but I'm never sure if it's a good idea. Last time I managed it was on a journey in Colorado, crossing Loveland pass during a raging blizzard we were relying more on blind faith and ignorance. I am still not sure how we got through that as the bus didn't bother to slow down. Today's was slightly different, it was more about the state of the bus and the driver. If he wasn't on his phone he was reading, normally driving with no hands. I noticed the speedo didn't work, turned out not to be an issue as I don't think we ever reached 30 mph. When it rained on the outside it rained on the inside too, to be honest i am surprised it even started, it normally took a few attempts. Anyway, that's how we got here but how did we get there far? It all started back in Ho Chi Minh (HCM)

Our first day was a classic sightseeing trip in the rain. We took in all the local spots while battling with mopeds and risking life crossing the roads. It seems as long as you can miss the big things, buses and cars, the little things will miss you. I think you just have to hope that they want to hit you less than you want to be hit! 

In the evening we got to catch up with an old friend of mine who used to work with me in Aspen. He took us to a locals place to eat snails, I don't think Kinga was too keen but she tucked in and put on a brave face. It is always good meeting up with old friends. In Vietnam they all seem to sit around in very small plastic chairs drinking and eating. I asked my friend about this and he said its because they're all small, everyone looks normal sized to me. It is always funny to see, the chairs wouldn't look out of place in a kindergarten. When you finish you just chuck all your rubbish on the floor, they come along pick up the table and chairs, sweep underneath and by the time you look back they are ready for their next snail muncher. 

Following day we did a tour, it was ok, a highlight was a canoe trip through the jungle, reminded me of some computer games I used to play based on the Vietnam war. In the evening we met some English teachers and had a few beers and a chat with them, it was a fun night, we also found a roof top bar that managed to rip us off, they always do but I always fall for it.

Next morning was spent at the War Remnants Museum. They have a lot of military hardware out front and then loads of photos. It was another emotional trip. There was a whole section with picture of survivors of agent orange, a chemical used to clear the forests. 3 generations on and there are still birth defects from surviving families, it was a horrific act of warfare. I can't believe that in the US they have admitted the side effects of the chemical and compensated their veterans, even Korean veterans, but nothing has been said about the Vietnamese people. Hundreds of thousands have been effected, the effects are also hereditary so their kids and kids of kids are still being effected. Not so much as an acknowledgement.

Aside from that the museum was pretty one sided, full of propaganda but well worth a visit. Photo that stands out is a picture of a Viet Cong group taking 1600 hostages alive...doesn't say what happened a day later, I bet they didn't stay in that condition. Anyway, war is shit and we all know that.

In the evening we caught the overnight train to go to Hoi An. It was long and bumpy but we survived. The food wasn't too good and that wasn't helped by the lack of English spoken by the staff. We bough one thing, this is how it went..

Me "What's that?"

Food lady "Banana leaf"

Me "I see that, but what's inside?"

Food lady "Yes"

Me "Yes?"

Food lady "Yes...Inside"

Me "But what's in there?"

Food lady "Yes"

Me "Is it rice?"

Food lady"Yes rice"

Me "So there's rice in the banana leaf?"

Food lady "Yes, banana leaf"

Me "Ok, why not?"

Guess what, it wasn't rice inside if there, it was a steaming while lump of gelatinous gloop. One taste and we were gagging! Digging deeper into it we found some kind of meat but we had decided train food may not be for us so it went in the bin and we tucked into our Oreo's.

We arrived in Hoi An on about 1 hours sleep behind us so we went straight for a nap. In the evening we went for a walk, I was tired and in some kind of super grump. HCM was full of mopeds, constantly beeping and coming at you, it gets so annoying the amount of times you have a moped appear in front of you and make you jump. Hoi An was nowhere near as bad but still very annoying and I was in no mood for it. I think I was about 2 beep away from beeping someone in the face. It's a shame really as Hoi An was a really nice town, at least I got some good pictures.

 The next day we though if you can't beat them join them so we hired mopeds and became beeping mother beepers ourselves. Kinga was a little timid at first but didn't take her long to get into it. We used them to check out some beaches and had a much needed relaxing beach day. The hard thing is when your staying still is people try to sell you stuff, my problem is I like all of it so we will be coming back with plenty of stuff! Kinga's development has been quite fun, there was a whole list of things she wasn't going to do, here's how it went;

Day 2 riding in tuk tuks

Day 4 drinking ice

Day 5 eating salad

Day 7 sitting down on the toilet seat (in hotel rooms)

Day 11 riding a moto (back of motorbike)

Day 14 hiring a moped!

Funny, maybe it's something to do with the fact she is also now drinking beer, she even admitted she liked it tonight!

I guess that brings it up to date, this is the second time I have written this as the first one got lost somewhere, so when I say it's time for me to go to bed that was originally written over an hour ago so now it is definitely time!

Goodnight!