Making anemones

So it's been over a week or something like that since I have written to you all so I guess I should take a few minutes to remind you how jealous you all are of us.

So we find ourselves in Lombok, fighting off mosquitoes and the bracelet mafia while enjoying beaches that would easily take there place in my top 5 of all time I have ever been too. More specifically we are in a small town called Kuta which is on the Southern tip of the island. Lombok itself is the island to the East of Bali in Indonesia. So that said lets get going.

Sorry to disappoint you but I feel I must begin by letting you know so far neither of has been sick, which is good I guess, and neither of us had had the poops even though we have been enjoying some very sceptical looking food stuffs. Our first few days were in an area called Jimberan, not much to report really, beaches, fresh fish, lovely hosts at out home stay thats about it. Following this we headed to a cool town called Ubud via many tourist sites and temple, I'll be honest, I have forgotten the name of most of them but they were all....touristy. We did eat some strange coconut jelly sweet things made out of rice. I have no idea how it's rice and I am convinced they are lying to me. I am probably better off not really knowing how they are made anyway. I got suckered in the usual way by me asking what is it, they say try one, I say ok, then I say it's horrible and go to walk away, then they make me feel guilty and I end up buying two. One day I may learn, but no time soon I am sure!

Temple somewhere in Bali

Ubud was great, every corner you turn is another mystical archeological wonder, but more fun than buildings...they have a monkey forest. By now I am sure you know I can never miss the chance to interact with my primitive brothers. Just as you walk in there is a small fountain where they jump, swim and fight, this could keep me amused for hours just watching them monkey around. We explored further and had a good laugh at a poor spanish tourist who had given a baby monkey a small snack. I guess the mother was jealous and stole it from her baby, not very nice. As mummy walked of she dropped the food and sensing the opportunity the Spanish girl went to give it back to the baby but no....it was a trap. No sooner had she touched the food, mummy was back on the scene ninja kicking her to the face throwing in an uppercut, bitchy words and a bite to the shoulder. Screaming as loud as anyone would when under attack from ninja monkey the girl ran away. Sadly she ran the wrong way and got herself cornered! She was a full on prisoner, mummy sat looking uninterested but every movement Spain made she spun around and hissed at her. Spain looked to baby for support but he just sat there looking desperately at his little monkey paws, they had food but now just hung there...empty. After a few minutes one of the park attendants came to negotiate the release of the hostage with a big stick, given ninja monkeys previous moves I thought a stick would not pose much of a problem, alas she run away and the Ubud hostage crisis of 2014 came to an end. Spain did take a bite to the shoulder but it didn't look like the skin was broken so she should be safe from rabies.

After our entertainment was over we wandered a bit further and found a quiet little corner to snack on a biscuit...it had been 2 hours since breakfast. Looking everywhere we were pretty confident and cracked them out. We were in an alleyway, no monkeys in front, none behind, an 11 foot wall to the left and long building to the right, we were as secure as we possibly could be. As Kinga unwrapped our snack....BOOM...I received a killer blow to the head as a monkey from nowhere landed on me, launching off my noggin as quickly as he had appeared ninja monkey the sequel 360'd in mid air, cartwheeling over my hand. Kinga stepped back and let out a defensive scream to irritate the monkey but impervious to human screaming he grabbed the biscuits with four of his buddies and they were off, as quickly as they appeared. We had just been mugged. As if to rub it in one just sat there, staring us down as he munched on our biscuit, eyes saying to me "come and take this delicious oat cake back...I dare you." Defeated and hungry we slopped off to find some real lunch.

 Monkey...eating my bloody biscuit!!

The rest of Ubud was no where near as exciting as that but still an amazing town. After three days we were on the road again and heading here...Kuta. The trip was uneventful except for at one of our bus changes the driver started telling us how mosquitoes are everywhere at the moment, the way he was taking it sounds like malaria and dengue fever is a certainty rather than a possibility. Happy to report so far we are fine but our mosquito repellent is running out fast and every time we blow our nose we assume it's malaria.

 Ubud rice fields

As I mentioned earlier Kuta is pretty amazing, we have mopeds and have been exploring beaches up and down the coast and everyone of them deserves a place in my top 5. The tourists around here don't seem too nice though, it is a bit of a surfer town so everyone seems to be trying to act really cool, makes it hard for me to fit in, I gave that up a few years ago! The locals are all amazing and friendly, especially the little kids that try to sell you bracelets, they are frekin' relentless. "Hello sir hello ma'am, want to buy bracelet?" Over the course of a meal you will get asked by about 15 kids between the ages of 5-15 at a guess. I want to know where the money goes, of course they say they make it but I bet they don't, there must be a boss who supplies the materials, I am on the scent and I will expose these underground bracelet gangs.

The one other thing of interest happened today during a swimming session in the warm water off the beautiful beach we were chilling on. Have I mentioned the beaches? So we were swimming and paused by some rocks when Kinga just looked at me and said "Don't move." And I am talking about a proper don't move, full on serious voice and stone cold eyes. So naturally I shit myself and spun around looking for what se was looking at fully expecting to be eaten by a shark or at least speared by a swordfish or something. As I spun I stood up and as my high pitched screams gave away I had found it. We were surrounded by sea anemones, those little poisonous spiky little bastards and I had just stepped right on one. My foot was bleeding and on fire so we swam back quicker than I have ever managed before. By the time we were back at the beach the pain had subsided but still there. We asked an expert, by expert I mean a local man selling pineapples on the beach, he reckons I should be fine, I guess I will know tomorrow morning. I am either going to wake up with a foot or a massive swollen pus ball, makes for an exciting night!

 One of Kuta's amazing beaches

Well that really is it, thank you and well done if you are still reading, that is 10 minutes of your life you will never get back! Soon we are of to Kangaroo land but before that I need to learn how to surf, thats for tomorrow.

Goodnight and I love you all!

 Me, struggling on through