Arrived in Bali

So after a gap of three months we are back on our adventure and have arrived in Bali.

Whenever you are travelling long distances to go away I always believe it is a really good idea to spend that little bit of extra cash and buy a good quality flight. I am not talking first class...unless you can afford it...if you can hit me up, we should talk...but at least a direct flight to get to your destination as quickly as possible leaving you refreshed and ready to go from day one. Sadly, what I believe and what I do are quite the opposite, that is why we were tavelling for 32 hours, leaving London in the wee hours of Tuesday morning to fly to Mumbai, 9 hours overnight there waiting for another 5 hour flight to Singapore. 3 more hours there before getting on our next flight to Bali and finally arriving at around 1am Friday morning.

The first flight was nice enough, my streak of surviving with my clothes clean came to an abbrut end as the sweetcorn from  BBQ chicken wrap became dislodged by some mild turbulance and left 4 or 5 nice saucey streaks down my shirt. After an hour or so of non stop bumpinesds the sick bag was on standby but never really threatened. Mumbai airport is dry...Goes without saying I didn't enjoy it there. Having flown through Doha before and encountering the same situation I vowed never to go to a dry airport again, looks like I failed. We did concoct a plan that involed duty free wine and a couple of Costa coffee cups, we even got the cups but then did a little research to find out that you need a permit to consume alcohol in Mumbai state. Not wanting to get arrested before we even finished our transit we veto'd that plan and set about finding a quiet corner to make a nest for the night.

The next flight was a 5 hour ordeal on a plane that would make Ryan Air seen spacious. We also had the pleasure of being right on the back row so we couldn't recline our seats and we had a constant audience of people waiting to us the lavotory looking at us. At least I entertained them as one of the side effects of not being able to recline your seat is that you must sleep pretty upright. The result...That thing you do when your head colaspes forward and you wake yourself up as if you have just beed slapped around the face. I spend 4 hours doing my best nodding dog impression. It was also on this flight that Kinga also decided to cover herself in red wine and sweet and sour chicken. I know what your thinking...Red...with sweet and sour? Sadly they didn't have any Alsace Dry Reisling!

Finally we made it to Singapore where we would have to clear immigration, collect our bags and check in again. We were officially in Singapore for 32 minutes, 22 of them waiting for my stupid luggage. Finally after one more flight we have arrived.

Our system of tactical naps and red wine has worked and have woken up feeling fit, strong, ready for a day of sightseeing but it is raining like mad. That said, being British this never bothers me. 

That's about it for now, as I sit on out terrace writing Kinga is next to me, scaring us by reading all the side effects of the various drugs we have with us. Apparently a side effect of travel sickness pills is nausea and vomiting...Hmmmmm.  Keep an eye out for updates, I am sure I will get the message to you if you can't be bothered to look. I hope you are all well and let the adventure re-commence.

Peace

A Strange Turn Of Events

Hmmm, England in Winter...I didn't think I'd be here. Right now as I write this I should be staggering around Sydney Harbor in a drunken stupor having seen in the New Year under an explosion of bright fireworks lighting up the Opera House. Realistically I would be asleep in a park somewhere as I couldn't afford an outrageously priced hotel, stone cold sober as the drinks are so expensive having seen a few blurry flashes of fireworks in the sky from 10 kilometers away. Alas neither of these are true as I am sat on a couch back in the amazing small town of Bury St Edmunds in England.

Due to family reasons we are taking a break in our trip, we arrived back in the cold on the 20th December and started work the next day...grrrr...work. Out next flight is booked from Kuala Lumpur to Melbourne and we will be picking this up again in February.

It was a long time since my previous travelly post so lets give you a swift overview of what we got up to.

Thailand after Pai...

Lopburi, I didn't catch rabies.

Ayutthaya, Nice temples and a lovely break from the craziness of Bangkok

Bangkok, Crazy

Train Ride, Hungry followed by an evening in a random town called Don Sak with no-where to eat so Pot Noodles for dinner.

Koh Phag-nan, Full Moon party craziness

Koh Lanta, Rainy

Koh Phi Phi, Stunningly beautiful and took Kinga to an all you can eat buffet and a boxing match #Romance!

Phuket, one night, up at 3am

Kuala Lumpur, Disappointing at first but pulled through in the end

Myanmar/Burma, Loved it

Yangon, Expected nothing but loved it

Mandalay, Expected loads but disappointed

Bagan, Temples and greatness

Back to Yangon, loved it again

Malaysia

Kuching, Borneo, Very nice people.

After that, Bury St Edmunds, center of the universe!!!!

So, that brings you up to date. There are so many stories in between like sweet chili mackerel and pee-ing by the side of the road in Myanmar but i can't write them right now. If your lucky i will in the future...or you'll have to buy the book!

Happy New Year everyone, roll on 2014!

Pai and stuff

Been a while.....

Well...what to say. It's been so long. I think last time I was writing was in Chaing Mai after a rather pleasant meal.

So we left the next day to go further North to a small town called Pai. I cannot tell you how many people told us we had to go there, so we did. We don't like to disappoint people. When we ask for further information as to why we should go 3 hours out of our way, along a hellishly bendy road in a speeding mini bus round rather large, mountains drops no one could really give us a reason apart from, it's just lovely...we were sold. So 3 hours after a hellishly long speeding mini bus ride rounds hairpin bends and sheer mountainous drops we got to Pai. We were not disappointed, so beautiful. We were there for 4 nights staying in our little bungalow with a hammock out front just relaxing. We met a lovely couple from Berlin, Agathe and Manu, who we spent a lot of time with. We hired motorbikes and visited and jumped off waterfalls, struggled to get to the top of scenic viewpoints and stupidly decided to go to a hot springs. The later not a great idea when it is 36 degrees outside of the water. We did make it to the source of the hot springs where the water comes out at a fresh 80 C. Luckily there was a sign warning us not to boil eggs, I was relived to have seen it because I was just about to crack mine out and organise some soft boiled. Aside from this we had an amazing, relaxing time tubing down the river for a couple hours and eat a lot of food. 

The food was good overall, we were a little worried when on our first day the first restaurant we sat in had a small menu that included delights such as noodle soup with pig entrails and pork blood soup. We ended up going elsewhere! I did get an opportunity to enjoy a local delight as I was offered the chance to try a chicken heart, quite crunchy and made me gag a little but I managed to keep it down. Wouldn't kill another chicken soon to get to it's heart though.

On our first evening we found a great bar serving draught beer (kind of a luxury round here) and got to know the owner. He is a great guy and on our final night played live music for us. To begin with we were the only people in the bar but the music was attracting people in. As the owner was busy singing (kind of) I took the role of bar tender and started dishing out the beers. In the end a couple of folk musicians came and played, with me on the boxy drum seat thing and Kinga with a child's tambourine it turned into quite a jam session. 

After 4 days of relaxing, eating, making good friends and getting annoyed at hippies it was time to return to Chiang Mai. With regards to hippies, I am all for peace and love and saving the planet and stuff. I just don't feel the need to grow my hair into an un washable mess, sit around and get high while talking about some species of toad that is under threat of extinction due to the expansion of the local chicken factory. You know that super expensive, healthy soy latte with organic sugar and probably weird lentil stuff in it that you are arrogantly boasting how healthy it is just loud enough so we all have to listen in...how can you afford it hippie? Capitalism or selling drugs? Sorry about that, rant over

The way back to Chaing Mai was great as we hired a motorbike instead of getting the speeding minibus and rode the most amazing road ever on a beautiful sunny day. Since we returned and people have asked us about Pai all we could say was...you have to go, it's lovely. Pai is a place that is hard to explain.

By that evening we had landed in Bangkok and went straight to Khao San Road, centre of the drink, dancing and good times. It was a crazy assault on the senses. Having come from possibly one of the most chilled out towns in the world straight to here, we lasted about 30 minutes before getting grumpy and going to bed.

The next day we just wandered before meeting up with Kym and Devin who we had previously shared our barbecue with in Chaing Mai. We also got to meet Kym's cousin, Sam, and her husband, Des, and had a pretty damn good night. That pretty much sums up what Bangkok was to us, lazy day followed by a few drinks with friends followed by a lazy day. Normally the lazy days were not out of choice, well, I guess a bad choice made the night before when I said yes to another bottle of Samgson.

We did work a few other things out, Bangkok is loud and a bit smelly, it really helps if you have someone who is local to help you out and a mix of hangovers and pushy market sales people and tuk tuk is not good. When you walk past a market stand there is a certain technique you need to perfect to keep things as peaceful as possible...

1) Study the merchandise as you approach but make no movement, no matter how small, towards the stall. Pay close attention to the angle of your hips and shoulders, the slightest lean and the game is over.

2) If you see something you like the look off, study where the owner of the stall is and approach from their blind spot.

3) have a look but don't pick it up, they can sense it.

4) If you don't like it you have around a three second window to beat a hasty retreat, make sure you are counting in your head on your approach.

5) DO NOT make eye contact.

6) If you want to study further pick it up and prepare yourself for first contact.

7) DO NOT look interested or show excitement, it could be the flipping Holy Grail but do not let them know you like it, instead say "it's alright, but there's a better one down there." and point the other way.

8) Put it back down even if you want it, look at something else while they are breathing down your neck. Casually point back to it and ask "How much do you want for it?"

9) Negotiations are on, get the best price you can.

10) Feel guilty when you realise you are haggling over what is about 20p and end up paying more than they are asking for. This step is optional but I always find myself doing it!

Right now we are in a small town just outside of Bangkok while we wait for our visas to Myanmar to be sorted, they should be ready in a few days time. Tomorrow is a trip to a town called Lopburi where they have a temple full of monkeys, I am part convinced that I will go to feed them and catch me some rabies!

And that is that. I am sorry it has taken so long for me to write this, I know you all miss us so much and really look forward to these posts.

Big love and stay safe. 

Additional,

Having written this last night I am now adding in about the most amazing day ever. We visited Lopburi and I didn't catch rabies. I did however have monkeys climbing all over me and grooming me, it was amazing. In Lopburi there are so many monkeys mainly centred around one temple known, funnily enough, as monkey temple. They are free and wild, come and go as they like and are worshiped by the locals. Once a year they even hold a feast in their honour where they put food out for them. It was amazing to walk around there and just watch and enjoy being so close to them. One even managed to steel a mobile phone off a local, it was crazy to see them try to get it back but they know what they are doing. The naughty monkey was sat at the top of a telegraph pole while someone threw mangoes and rice up to it. The idea being that they catch the mango and drop the phone. It worked well, sadly no one caught the phone so it smashed on the floor, now the unhappy owner has lost their phone and their mango! Hehe, clever monkey!

That is it!

Egg Custard

Our last couple of meals have been quite interesting, we visited another barbecue place just outside the North East corner of the old city. We walked past it everyday and it looks like a real locals hangout. It must seat over 200 people under a simple roof with a buffet in the middle full of different cuts of raw meat. You have a bucket with fiery coals in the middle of your table with a cooking plate on top and away you go. We went with a couple of friend we met and had a great time, the food was good, just unsure what we were eating most of the time. A couple of nights before that we spent the night buying various types of street food from the night market, between the four of us we sampled most things available. Most of the food were simple mystery balls or meat on a stick, we worked out that at one point the balls were octopus and the meat was pork belly but as for the rest of it we have no idea. We all survived with no ill effects and got to try some lovely...and some rancid...food. I think meat always tastes better on a stick. Last night we had a very disappointing experience at a Japanese restaurant. I had teriyaki beef as a set meal which included miso soup (good), the beef and rice (fine) and egg custard. Now in my mind the egg custard was going to be like a custard tart back in the UK, just without the tart bit, but nicely sweetened and a nice finish to the meal. Having demolished all my other food rather promptly I set on my egg custard. When I touched it it was warm which I wasn't expecting, but custard is often warm so I'd go with it and with my mouth watering, waiting for that sugary goodness I dipped my spoon in a placed it in my mouth. My initial reaction was to spit it straight out again but I don't think Kinga would have been to happy being covered in what I can only describe as egg custard. It was like warm egg flavoured half set cream. Salty, eggy, just generally nasty and has no place on the table of torture victims let alone paying customers. Add into it the fact my mouth was fully expecting a lovely creme brûlée style dish please understand how upset I was with this vile creation that had made its way onto my palate. Being me I returned to it for another four bites before finally giving up and classing it a lesson learnt. Upon reflection I must admit when I think of the term egg custard that was pretty much what you should be getting, if you order it in England and get this wonderful, velvety, sweet temptation then you should be surprised and delighted that in fact tastes nothing like warm egg juice. Kinga's side of the meal, while underwhelming, was ok.

All this talk of food brings us nicely onto our next point from the other end. Although many place here do have Western style toilets it is always advisable to take toilet paper with you because here they like to you a little thing we know as the bum gun or bottom rocket. It is effectively a hose pipe with a high pressured gun on the end that you stick between your legs and give it a good squirt. As a man you want to be a good aim as a high power squirt straight on to your dangling custard eggs creates quite a moment on uncomfortableness. Out of interest I thought I'd give the bum gun a go and to be honest I am quite impressed, quick, efficient, makes you smile, seems like Asia could be onto something. There are only two major drawbacks, getting your head around who may have been holding the gun before you and when you are finished, how do you dry yourself. I went into that toilet knowing full well I was ready to give it ago, I was so confident I left the toilet paper outside. Impresses after a quick rinse I was now soggy, no hand towels, no tissue, nothing. I just had to pull my shorts up and hope no-one would walk behind me for the next hour or so as the questionable patch on my bum dried up. Of reflection I would recommend giving the gun ago, but still take your paper, I wonder how the locals dry themselves.

Surviving a scary night

Last words special update

As I write this I truly believe I am about to die in some horrific way. We are currently trying to get some sleep in a place called Samoeng Resort just outside a small town in the middle of nowhere up a mountain somewhere. The resort has about 30 or so individual bungalows spread across a wide area, we are the only people here. 

The day started off great with hiring a moped and going to an elephant sanctuary and getting kissed by an elephant before hitting the road and coming out here. The road is a 100km loop out of Chaing Mai known as the Samoeng loop. It is possible to do in one day but we decided to break it up with an over night stop and found this place.

We were shown to our bungalow and were instantly underwhelmed by the general repair but accepted this was the way it was going to be. We got back on the bike to go into the town to find something to eat which is when the rain started, and boy did it rain. By the time we got there we were soaked through, luckily there was a small clothes shop selling really cheap stuff so we could get something for tomorrow. We found a little place to eat then bought some snacks off a very nice old local who spoke a little English and we cam back to "The Resort". 

As nighttime slowly crept up it was starting to feel quite creepy, we are the only people here, there were lots of strange noises outside that sound like footsteps, there was something on the roof, every little noise got to us. The door was shivering in the wind knocking each time as if there was someone trying to get in. I bet this place is great when it's busy but when you are the only people it gets quite unsettling. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some movement behind Kinga's head, like a ninja I jumped up and pounced on the snail that was about to attack her and chucked it outside while she just froze. Wondering what was happening I explained I was just saving her life, no biggie. I chuckled to myself as I threw it outside thinking how lucky he is that I am not Vietnamese. After that minor scare I thought back to the old man in the town and realised every horror movie has a creepy old man, normally works at a petrol station, who asks questions like "so where are you staying?" Just like he did. I turned to tell Kinga but she didn't want to know. Then...the power went out. Lights out, TV off, no staff around, this is it. I know all heroes on TV grab a flashlight and go and check, sadly we didn't have a flashlight, I'm not a hero and they normally are the first ones to die anyway. So I asked Kinga to go check it out, she also said no. 

So now here we are, my iPad our only source of light, every noise in the dark has been amplified by ten and I swear there are footsteps outside, the building has someone on the roof and there is a snail out there currently forming an army to get some revenge. I only hope he is so slow it will take a day to two and we'll be gone. So as I fall asleep I write these final words so that in the future they may hopefully make a horror movie out of our story. Sadly, realistically, if we do get killed it will probably be a robbery as we have money and an iPad and these words will never be read as this iPad will be sold to some dude, probably named Mr Kim. That's not a comforting thought either......

This hasn't worked for a while

Awaiting their next victims

Hasn't been used in a while, probably because no one lives long enough!

Well, we survived, I think the killer came in but when he realised I sleep naked he probably ran away, most people would.

Chiang Mai time

After 54 hours of travelling we finally made if from Luang Prabang to Chaing Mai, Thailand. Currently sat by a pool (in someone else's hotel) waiting to get kicked out but will see how it goes!

So the slow boat was quite an experience, if you want the full report it will be on my website soon, I completely understand why they call it the slow boat now. 10 hours on the river day one followed by another 11 hours on day two. We arrived in Huay Xay, the border town in Laos at 7pm, sadly too late to catch a crossing as the border closes at 6pm. Just up from the arrival point we found a dodgy little guest house to stay in which was cheap, we figured we'd have some nice accommodation soon so we can rough it for one more night. That night I am happy to report that we had our first submission to a round of food poisoning and it wasn't me. Poor Kinga spent more time in our dodgy guesthouse bathroom wishing her surroundings were slightly nicer than she did in the bedroom. I was, very supportively, staying out of the way, in bed, sleeping. She must have been up about 5 or 6 times, got to love South East Asia. 

The next morning, although slightly tired, she was showing no knock on effects, she's a warrior and we were off to Thailand. We crossed the border easily and went to get the bus to Chaing Mai only to be told it was full...shit. It was easy to get from the boat to the bus station, when you get stamped in at the immigration office there are pick up trucks waiting for you. When you ask how much they point to a board which has two prices, 30 baht to the bus station or 50 baht to the hospital, they are the only two options! I guess they don't have much faith in the crappy little boats that take you across the river. Fortunately at the bus station we weren't the only people in this situation and between 11 of us we managed to charter a private mini bus for only a couple of dollars more than we would have paid on the big bus. Not only was it more comfortable but we arrived into Chaing Mai in half the time. It was good for something to finally work out for the better.

While Chaing Mai has been nice it feels a bit weird as we have suddenly reached the point where we don't know what we are doing. All of our planning so far had been around being in Luang Prabang for the festival, that has now past so we are kind of lost. We hired mopeds one day and went out to an amazing place called Tiger Kingdom where we got to pose with big tigers and play with baby ones, that was great, probably wouldn't want to do it the other way round though. Aside from that it's been a really lazy few days. We found a large night market and I bought some pants, Kinga has been seeing her fist lady boys dotted around and seems unsure what to make of them, we have eaten a lot of food and now we are relaxing and planning our next adventures. Tomorrow we will be hiring a moped again to ride through the mountains and hopefully visit some hill tribes, maybe ride an elephant. To rent it we will probably go to the same place as I did get a rather nice pink helmet to wear for my safety...and their amusement. After that who knows........I think I am going to go have a massage now. Take care.

We are sailing

I am currently writing this sat on a boat cruising up the Mekong river to the Thai border. I am not sure if we will make it to Thailand tonight but fingers crossed, nothing booked and no expectations. So let's catch up.

Luang Prabang is amazing, so beautiful, every way you turn is another postcard shot. From the golden pagodas contacted by the bright orange gowns of the young monks to the palm trees reaching out over the Mekong River and the the jungled mountain side back drop. Just stunning. Our first day was a lazy day as most first days are, just sauntering around taking pictures. Luang Prabang is a quite a compact town so you end up bumping into people you recognise. We met 3 groups from different hostels that we were talking to on the plane, it creates a really relaxed, friendly atmosphere. 

We visited an amazing waterfall, when you arrive you walk up past a bear sanctuary before reaching the swimming area. Here is a smaller waterfall you get to jump or dive from into a lovely pool. There is also a rope swing for a more unconventional entry. There was on point where a Chinese girl was going for a swing, it is quite intimidating up there and, understandably, she paused for a long time building up confidence to make the leap. This drew a bit of attention and before you know it she had a pretty large audience. Every time she bent her knees to jump but pulled out you could feel the anticipation building. Finally she launched herself off the tree to loud cheers from the engrossed crowd but the cheers suddenly turned to worry as she failed to let go and was quickly swinging back to where she'd launched from and the rocks below. We collectively took a breath of concern, but she held on and was swinging out again. Impromptu chants from the swelling crowd of drop, drop were echoing around the pool as the rope ran out of momentum and she was left hanging like a bucket about to be dropped into a well before finally letting go of the rope and plunging into the water. As she resurfaced alive she did so to a rapturous round of applause and cheering. Sadly, the poor German man who back flipped of a waterfall before following it up with a very impressive somersault from a rope swing was greeted with silence, no one batted an eye lid, bloody show off!

After our cooling swim we headed onwards and upwards, we didn't realise what was coming. After plenty of small turquoise lagoons being loaded by their own little water fall we rounded a corner only to look up and see a magnificent waterfall, casually eroding the rocks below with immense success. With a typically Laos lack of healthy and safety, beside the waterfall was a loosely worn mud track enabling you to climb to the top, I'd guess it's around 100 metres. Apart from the leeches it was easy going up but once there you are quickly reminded that waterfalls always look better from the bottom. After a hairy climb down again, flip flops aren't ideal, we were leaving this wonderful piece of nature behind.

On the Sunday night the town put on a farewell festival for us. Other people said the festival was to mark the end of rainy season and to thanks the water gods for the Mekong river and all the prosperity it brings. Also to apologise for misusing the water, I knew the real reason behind it. The festival in the evening was a spectacular event and we are so lucky to have been there for it. All the boats that we have witnessed being built all week are lit up and paraded through the streets before being cast away in the water. The boats were stuffed with food and money as an offering and a thank you to the gods. I am not sure if the gods ever receive the offerings, I think there is a little man waiting around the corner with a fishing rod reeling the boats in and helping himself to everything on board, but that's just the sceptic in me! The atmosphere was buzzing as tourists and locals alike joined in the celebrations, floating candles in homemade mini rafts, lighting lanterns with various degrees of success. I would imagine looking up to see if your under a tree before lighting a lantern would be a prerequisite, but it turns out that not the case. As the evening celebrations were dying down we saw a crazy man dancing in the street who invited us to join his family in celebrating, I firmly believe it is unlucky not to do what a crazy man dancing in the street invites you to do so we sat with them. They didn't really speak too much English so the conversation wasn't flowing but the home made rice spirit definitely was. An hour or so of drinking we were lucky that the police arrived to enforce the curfew and shut the party down so we had the chance to flee and stumble back to our hostel. It was such a privilege to get the opportunity to sit and enjoy the company of some locals on such a day, I even got to take part in some crazy dancing on the street with my new friend.

After a night of rice spirit fuelled shenanigans we were off at 7am the next morning, needless to say I wasn't feeling my best. The first 9 hours on the boat before getting to Pak Beng were spent sleeping and eating. Once again we are being treated to nature at its finest, the river and jungle, this is how people have been travelling up and down the mighty Mekong for centuries, looking around outside you can imagine it hasn't changed for millions of years, right now I could be anywhere in time. Well, the iPad on my lap gives away that it is definitely post 2012, but apart from that there could be dinosaurs over the hills!

I guess that's it for now, overall loved Luang Prabang, Thailand I am not too excited by but I hope it will surprise me, fingers crossed.

Extra; Kinga's reason for not going into the National Muesum in Luang Prabang "it's just a bunch of stuff". I think that's the concept of a museum!