From Kuta to Adelaide

So we sit here in yet another airport having been told our flight is delayed. Luckily we left plenty of time for our connections as apperntly even if you miss a connecting flight on the same air line "flights are booked at your own risk sir, delays happen." is all the help we're gonna get!

So we left Kuta having learnt to surf, and visiting a village called Bumbang, leaving my calf mussels very pink and crispy boarding a plane to Melbourne. We boarded our first flight from Kuta to Kuala Lumpur where we would change planes to head to Melbourne. For some reason once we were 30,000 feet in the air my brain decided it would now be a good moment to reming me that KL has two airports, a quick check and my fears were confirmed in that we are landing at the wrong one. Another lesson learnt from the Hulland school of travel organisation! As it always seems to it all worked out in the end amongst a mild panic and we landed safely in Melbourne. I thought immigration in the UK was a chore but this took the biscuit. All in all it took us about 2 and a half hours to navigate the various queues before Kinga got taken aside for a brief interrogation and we were free to leave. The interrogation was the usual stuff, lots of small questions to basically say "Do you plan to find a job and stay here illegally?", That would have been much quicker!

I would love to tell you all about Melbourne but we changed plans and were only there for around half a day. We were always heading over to Adelaide to meet up with friends but were never sure how we were going to get there then last minute we found a cheap camper van rental. By cheap...I mean it was 50p a day to rent it, the company paid for all of our petrol...and we got $100 travel expenses. It was a relocation rental, so someone left it in Melbourne and we were the lucky people who got to take it the other way. Expecting a small VW style camper I was quite surprised to find the behemoth that sat, waiting for us to return her to her home. We had a TV, cooker, shower, toilet (not that I dared, we had a deal that who used it emptied it! I guess deep down I always knew it would be me emptying it.) everything to sustain a simple existence. Day one was spent driving the Great Ocean Road to the South West of Melbourne, stopping off in Torquay and various other scenic stops. It is lovely but I would re-name it the Very Good Ocean Road because compared to the drive from Biarritz to Bilbao and a couple of others in Europe it's not quite on the same level, but it is still lovely. Maybe the Lovely Ocean Road. 

Fine dining!

 Great Ocean Road

Just as we were looking for somewhere to park up for the night we managed our first wild life encounter, we nearly hit a kangaroo who suicide leaped in front of us but we just managed to swerve. With limited knowledge of kangaroo suicidal tendencies we found a quiet lay by, cooked some carbonara and settled down for the night planning to set off early in the morning, around 8am.

So at 11am we were off and the second day driving was pretty relentless. We passed a few scenic vineyards but is was a long slog of straight roads small towns. The second night was spent in a town called Keith, their claim to fame, owning a Land Rover on a Pole...I couldn't make that stuff up! This time we had smartly decided to park in a rest stop for truck conveniently next to a railway to ensure that sleep would be a very elusive state that night. On the flip side we managed to make and early start and our road adventure concluded in Adelaide.

The amazing town of Keith

In Adelaide we have been staying with the amazing Ormond family. We met Kym travelling through Thailand and he made that mistake of saying "Come stay at my place sometime" so we did! The whole family has been amazing, I managed to get myself KO'd by Kevin, Kym's dad, on our first night. Being KO'd seems to be a family tradition where you are welcomed with so much beer and amazing wine the next morning you feel...lets say fuzzy! Our time in Adelaide has been great including wandering the Riesling trail in Clare Valley, a rainy day at a beach, playing with all the indigenous marsupials we could wish for and enjoying festival events. All that was great fun but by far the highlight has been meeting all the family and enjoying their hospitality...and wine...and whisky...and beer. Our final night was a proper style Aussie barbecue with delights such as kangaroo, alpaca, crocodile sausages and goat on the grill. So I guess this is my last chance to once again say thanks to the whole family, lovely to meet you all and maybe see you in the UK sometime.

Team selfie

Kevin and Kym, father and so. Cooking dream team!

So that's it, you are probably bored by now so i'll wrap it up, we are delayed on our way to Tasmania to start a new chapter of our tour.

Peace and love to all.

Making anemones

So it's been over a week or something like that since I have written to you all so I guess I should take a few minutes to remind you how jealous you all are of us.

So we find ourselves in Lombok, fighting off mosquitoes and the bracelet mafia while enjoying beaches that would easily take there place in my top 5 of all time I have ever been too. More specifically we are in a small town called Kuta which is on the Southern tip of the island. Lombok itself is the island to the East of Bali in Indonesia. So that said lets get going.

Sorry to disappoint you but I feel I must begin by letting you know so far neither of has been sick, which is good I guess, and neither of us had had the poops even though we have been enjoying some very sceptical looking food stuffs. Our first few days were in an area called Jimberan, not much to report really, beaches, fresh fish, lovely hosts at out home stay thats about it. Following this we headed to a cool town called Ubud via many tourist sites and temple, I'll be honest, I have forgotten the name of most of them but they were all....touristy. We did eat some strange coconut jelly sweet things made out of rice. I have no idea how it's rice and I am convinced they are lying to me. I am probably better off not really knowing how they are made anyway. I got suckered in the usual way by me asking what is it, they say try one, I say ok, then I say it's horrible and go to walk away, then they make me feel guilty and I end up buying two. One day I may learn, but no time soon I am sure!

Temple somewhere in Bali

Ubud was great, every corner you turn is another mystical archeological wonder, but more fun than buildings...they have a monkey forest. By now I am sure you know I can never miss the chance to interact with my primitive brothers. Just as you walk in there is a small fountain where they jump, swim and fight, this could keep me amused for hours just watching them monkey around. We explored further and had a good laugh at a poor spanish tourist who had given a baby monkey a small snack. I guess the mother was jealous and stole it from her baby, not very nice. As mummy walked of she dropped the food and sensing the opportunity the Spanish girl went to give it back to the baby but no....it was a trap. No sooner had she touched the food, mummy was back on the scene ninja kicking her to the face throwing in an uppercut, bitchy words and a bite to the shoulder. Screaming as loud as anyone would when under attack from ninja monkey the girl ran away. Sadly she ran the wrong way and got herself cornered! She was a full on prisoner, mummy sat looking uninterested but every movement Spain made she spun around and hissed at her. Spain looked to baby for support but he just sat there looking desperately at his little monkey paws, they had food but now just hung there...empty. After a few minutes one of the park attendants came to negotiate the release of the hostage with a big stick, given ninja monkeys previous moves I thought a stick would not pose much of a problem, alas she run away and the Ubud hostage crisis of 2014 came to an end. Spain did take a bite to the shoulder but it didn't look like the skin was broken so she should be safe from rabies.

After our entertainment was over we wandered a bit further and found a quiet little corner to snack on a biscuit...it had been 2 hours since breakfast. Looking everywhere we were pretty confident and cracked them out. We were in an alleyway, no monkeys in front, none behind, an 11 foot wall to the left and long building to the right, we were as secure as we possibly could be. As Kinga unwrapped our snack....BOOM...I received a killer blow to the head as a monkey from nowhere landed on me, launching off my noggin as quickly as he had appeared ninja monkey the sequel 360'd in mid air, cartwheeling over my hand. Kinga stepped back and let out a defensive scream to irritate the monkey but impervious to human screaming he grabbed the biscuits with four of his buddies and they were off, as quickly as they appeared. We had just been mugged. As if to rub it in one just sat there, staring us down as he munched on our biscuit, eyes saying to me "come and take this delicious oat cake back...I dare you." Defeated and hungry we slopped off to find some real lunch.

 Monkey...eating my bloody biscuit!!

The rest of Ubud was no where near as exciting as that but still an amazing town. After three days we were on the road again and heading here...Kuta. The trip was uneventful except for at one of our bus changes the driver started telling us how mosquitoes are everywhere at the moment, the way he was taking it sounds like malaria and dengue fever is a certainty rather than a possibility. Happy to report so far we are fine but our mosquito repellent is running out fast and every time we blow our nose we assume it's malaria.

 Ubud rice fields

As I mentioned earlier Kuta is pretty amazing, we have mopeds and have been exploring beaches up and down the coast and everyone of them deserves a place in my top 5. The tourists around here don't seem too nice though, it is a bit of a surfer town so everyone seems to be trying to act really cool, makes it hard for me to fit in, I gave that up a few years ago! The locals are all amazing and friendly, especially the little kids that try to sell you bracelets, they are frekin' relentless. "Hello sir hello ma'am, want to buy bracelet?" Over the course of a meal you will get asked by about 15 kids between the ages of 5-15 at a guess. I want to know where the money goes, of course they say they make it but I bet they don't, there must be a boss who supplies the materials, I am on the scent and I will expose these underground bracelet gangs.

The one other thing of interest happened today during a swimming session in the warm water off the beautiful beach we were chilling on. Have I mentioned the beaches? So we were swimming and paused by some rocks when Kinga just looked at me and said "Don't move." And I am talking about a proper don't move, full on serious voice and stone cold eyes. So naturally I shit myself and spun around looking for what se was looking at fully expecting to be eaten by a shark or at least speared by a swordfish or something. As I spun I stood up and as my high pitched screams gave away I had found it. We were surrounded by sea anemones, those little poisonous spiky little bastards and I had just stepped right on one. My foot was bleeding and on fire so we swam back quicker than I have ever managed before. By the time we were back at the beach the pain had subsided but still there. We asked an expert, by expert I mean a local man selling pineapples on the beach, he reckons I should be fine, I guess I will know tomorrow morning. I am either going to wake up with a foot or a massive swollen pus ball, makes for an exciting night!

 One of Kuta's amazing beaches

Well that really is it, thank you and well done if you are still reading, that is 10 minutes of your life you will never get back! Soon we are of to Kangaroo land but before that I need to learn how to surf, thats for tomorrow.

Goodnight and I love you all!

 Me, struggling on through